Eye Candy for the Soul: The Gorgeous Michael Ealy

The Naturally Gifted Michael Ealy

Wondering who that lusciously handsome ‘eye candy for the soul’ actor is on “The Good Wife”? No, I don’t mean Chris Noth, I mean the multi-talented Michael Ealy. African-American audiences have long been acquainted with this underrated hunk in films such as “Barbershop” and “Their Eyes Were Watching God”, but now wider audiences are finally getting to see him shine.  The Oscars may have overlooked Ealy’s complex portrayal of an unstable, deeply wounded war vet in Tyler Perry’s “For Colored Girls Only” but anyone who saw the film walked away knowing that Ealy had delivered one of the best performances of any actor of 2010. Much to the chagrin of many women viewers, Ealy’s 10-episode stint on “The Good Wife” has come to an end. But I’m sure we’ll see him turn up somewhere else soon because he’s definitely one of the most talented actors in the business. Stay tuned!

Poetry Essentials: Still I Rise ~ by Maya Angelou

Still I Rise ~

by Maya Angelou

You may write me down in history

With your bitter, twisted lies,

You may trod me in the very dirt

But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?

Why are you beset with gloom?’

Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells

Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,

With the certainty of tides,

Just like hopes springing high,

Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?

Bowed head and lowered eyes?

Shoulders falling down like teardrops,

Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?

Don’t you take it awful hard

‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines

Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,

You may cut me with your eyes,

You may kill me with your hatefulness,

But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?

Does it come as a surprise

That I dance like I’ve got diamonds

At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame

I rise

Up from a past that’s rooted in pain

I rise

I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,

Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear

I rise

Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear

I rise

Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,

I am the dream and the hope of the slave.

I rise

I rise

I rise.

As More Men Marry Wealthier Women, Ladies, We Need Pre-Nups Too

Note to the New York Times: you’re several years late on this story, “More Men Marrying Wealthier Women.” As women have steadily become the primary breadwinners in the home, men have looked more to us for love – and assets. There used to be a time when only super-rich heiresses like Gloria Vanderbilt had to worry about the perils of becoming targets of ruthless, gold-digging men. But nowawadays, ladies, if you’ve got financial stability and assets, protect them before you head down the aisle. Of course, not all men or women who ‘marry up’ are fortune seekers… but I’m just sayin’: better prepared than sorry.

At the end of the day, a pre-nup is just a piece of paper (unless you ever have to stick it to your forehead just before slammin’ it on the table wild card Spades-style). I’m sure everyone will still live happily ever after if the pre-nup is never invoked.

Now let’s sing it together:
“We Want Pre-Nup’s too, Fella’s!”

Getting Back to My Roots at One and Twenty

Each day, I’ve been noticing a peculiar rite of passage march boldly into my life: the appearance of 1…2…3…more ‘beauty marks’ along my hairline. To be honest, these ‘highlights’ began to appear for me when I was in my early 20’s. Back then, I could fight them off one by one with a light stroke of my mascara brush (if you only have one or two grays, this little trick works well!) But now, they are in full charge and instead of resisting, I am embracing them along with all the joys and follies of life that have come with each strand:

“When I was one-and-twenty…”

by A. E. Housman (1859-1936)

When I was one-and-twenty
I heard a wise man say,
‘Give crowns and pounds and guineas

But not your heart away;

Give pearls away and rubies
But keep your fancy free.’
But I was one-and-twenty,
No use to talk to me.

When I was one-and-twenty
I heard him say again,
‘The heart out of the bosom
Was never given in vain;
‘Tis paid with sighs a plenty
And sold for endless rue.’
And I am two-and-twenty,
And oh, ’tis true, ’tis true.

Indeed.

“Precious” Opens In Theatres Today 11/6/09 in Limited Release

The long awaited release of the movie, “Precious” is finally over. The film debuts in limited release in most major cities

Gabourey Sidible, Star of "Precious" (photo from NYT)

today, 11/6/09; nationwide showings begin on 11/20/09. While some of the painful but far-too-often-true aspects of the movie have repulsed some while drawing in others, there is a brilliant story of resilience here that is not to be missed. “Precious” is chock full with dressed down superstars like Mariah Carey, Lenny Kravitz, and Mo’Nique; however, an unknown actress named Gabourey Sidibe really anchors this movie’s poignant storyline about a young woman who manages to triumph over unspeakable abuse at the hands of both her mother and father. Mo’Nique and Ms. Sidibe’s performances will undoubtedly lead the film into Oscar Awards hype season next month.

Monique, Gabourey Sidibe in "Precious" (LA Times)

Many will flock to see Mariah sing, Lenny play, and Mo’Nique be, well, Mo’Nique.  But the glass-shattering notes in “Precious” will likely come from a place of horror for a child, and the humor with which we associate Mo’Nique, the ‘Queen 0f Comedy,’ will largely be null and void. This is an adult movie and anyone under 18 should be accompanied by an adult in part to help younger viewers process some of the mature content. In an ideal world, one would not expect to see anyone under 18 in a theatre showing this film. However, in the real world, there is likely value for many teens and tweens to see this film –with supervision– if for no other reason than the sad fact that the subject matter –childhood rape and sexual abuse — is one that hits home everyday for many young girls and young women.

That said, based on what I’ve seen, read and heard about this film, “Precious” is not a movie hell-bent on prurient exploitation; rather, there’s a message of resilience that will hopefully help young women see that there are ways to escape abuse, if not always its lasting effects.

“Precious” has already garnered praise and a number of awards for director Lee Daniels‘ treatment and adaptation of “Push“, author Sapphire‘s novel on which the film’s based. I’ve chosen to excerpt the The New York Times‘ review because it balances hype with hope without turning “Precious” into simply another downtrodden, ‘urban’ flick. More importantly, its review doesn’t focus on race which is critical because child abuse and sexual exploitation know no race; these types of crimes against children are universal:

“Precious” is, in any case, less the examination of a social problem than the illumination of an individual’s painful and partial self-realization. Inarticulate and emotionally shut down, her massive body at once a prison and a hiding place, Precious is also perceptive and shrewd, possessed of talents visible only to those who bother to look.

Read the full review at The New York Times. Better yet, go see “Precious” if the film’s playing in your area.

- Adrienne C Barr

Note to US Domestic Violence Victims: Your State May Allow Health Insurers to Deny You Medical Care

October - National Domestic Violence Awareness Month/Purple Ribbon

I’ll never forget the first time I asked a man if he’d ever hit a woman. He softly yet firmly responded: “No, I won’t hit a lady, but I’ll kick a bitch in the ass.”

Needless to say, our date ended quite quickly that evening and I never went out with him again. I’ve never been a victim of domestic violence but professionally, I’ve repeatedly seen the devastating effects on women, children, and yes, even men.  Undoubtedly, many of you reading this blog have witnessed, experienced or heard of instances of Domestic Violence as well.  October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, but it goes without saying that ‘awareness’ of Domestic Violence requires constant vigilance. I thought we’d taken a united stance long ago that Domestic Violence is NEVER acceptable and that victims are to be supported and helped. That’s why initially, I didn’t believe the news blurb I saw today: eight states in the United States allow health care insurers to deny coverage to victims of Domestic Violence. Let me repeat that so that it really sinks in: eight states in the United States allow health insurance companies to deny health coverage to victims of Domestic Violence.

Those eight states are: North Carolina, Idaho, Mississippi, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Wyoming and the District of Columbia. Sixteen other states have ‘questionable’ procedures for ensuring that Domestic Violence victims aren’t re-victimized by being unnecessarily grilled by insurers once they seek care and/or reimbursement  for their injuries.

Now, just how difficult can it be for all states to take definitive steps to not only bar health insurance companies from this practice but also to steeply fine those companies that do not comply?

Read more on this travesty at MSNBC. If you live in one of these eight states, take the next step and contact to your Governor and your elected officials – local, state and federal – and tell them to take a stand for victims by immediately addressing this issue and specifically prohibiting health insurance companies from this shameful practice.

Chris Rock’s “Good Hair”: Don’t Have It? Buy It! (opens 10/09)

Chris Rock’s new documentary, “Good Hair” opens nationwide on Friday, 10/9/09. The film explores a long ‘family’ secret among black women: the definition and attainment of ‘good hair.’ Rock has been promoting the film all Summer with one of the funniest moments coming last week when he visited Oprah and literally ran his hands through her hair to see if she’d actually grown it, bought it or had some sort of sophisticated combination. Oprah proudly proclaimed that hers was naturally grown.

But what Oprah did NOT address, is the other aspect of that ‘bouncing and behaving’ naturally grown hair that she and I both share: just how do we get it THAT way?  The Washington Post, The New York Times, and many others have written pieces on Rock’s “Good Hair“, as this is a most fascinating part of life mostly for Black women (and secretly, some Black men too).

Just what is ‘good hair’ anyway?  In the Black community, ‘good hair’ is often described as being silky-smooth, kink-free. At the very least, it doesn’t require a straightening comb (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, ask somebody!) Thing is, once again, ‘good hair’ is not just a ‘black thang.’  I have Jewish and other non-Black girlfriends who have had to use ‘straighteners’ in order to manage their tresses too. And of course, everyone from Brittany Spears to Madonna wears extensions. But I must admit that Black women do take the award for being most creating with the ‘weave.’

Of course, many will argue vehemently with the definition of ‘good hair’ and hence this funny and at times painful–literally and figuratively– tale of what women will go through to seek beauty and perfection will undoubtedly hit as many sensitive nerves as it does funny bones.

A Star On The Rise: “Precious” Gabourey “Gabby” Sidibe

The Oscar buzz is getting stronger and stronger for the Lee Daniels-directed, Tyler Perry and Oprah Winfrey-produced drama, “Precious.”  Among others accolades garnered at various film festivals around this world this year, it also won this year’s Audience Award at the 2009 Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF).

In the midst of all marquee luminaries — and this movie is filled with them — a beautiful new star is rising, and her name is Gabourey “Gabby” Sidibe. A relative newcomer to film, Ms. Sidibe plays the title role in a film that even a veteran actress would have had a hard time preparing for, given the subject matter and brutality depicted. New York Magazine has written an excellent piece on Sidibe, only a section of which I’ve excerpted here:

To play the part, Sidibe (pronounced SIH-deh-bay) entered a nightmare. A shutdown bunker of an adolescent, Precious is already a mother of two children (one of them with Down syndrome) by her father, clocked over the head with pots and pans by her abusive mother (played with startling ferocity by Mo’Nique), mocked by boys in the streets of eighties Harlem, barely able to talk intelligibly, or read or write the simplest words. And yet she has a deep need to open up and thrive, which she begins to do with the help of a teacher and an all-girl crew of peers at an alternative school. As director Lee Daniels explains it, “Sidibe grew to be herself by the end of the movie. Not even herself, but a fraction of herself. To play Precious, she had to unwork all her confidence, and speak lower, slower, and gutturally. Only in the fantasy sequences”—when Precious dissociates from rape and abuse by thinking about runways and red carpets—“do you see who Sidibe is, bubbly and giggly.”

Definitely read the full story at New York Magazine.

- Adrienne C Barr

Movies that Matter: “Precious” (November 2009)

"Precious" based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire

Having already garnered acclaim at the Sundance Film Festival, Tyler Perry and Oprah Winfrey’s emotionally charged drama, “Precious,” has also won this year’s Audience Award at the 2009 Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF). While Perry and Winfrey are the marquee names, it should be noted that the movie is produced by Lee Daniels who brought us ‘Monster’s Ball’ in 2005. The TIFF has been a bellwether of cinematic awards winners in recent years so ‘Precious‘ has suddenly gotten a welcome gust of publicity right before it opens during the holiday — and Oscar– season in November 2009. Given the subject matter – child sexual abuse, incest and domestic violence– this one will certainly garner a very different audience than last year’s upbeat TIFF Audience Award winner and crowd pleaser, ‘Slumdog Millionaire.’

"Push" - A Novel by Sapphire

‘Precious‘, based on the novel entitled “Push” by Sapphire, is meant to leave viewers very uncomfortable with its storyline. While the ultimate story here is one of resilience and triumph over seemingly impossible odds, it takes a lot to see the light through this movie’s dark terrain. Chatter about nods for Lead Actress comedienne Monique’s performance has been buzzing for quite some time. I’ve seen outtakes of ‘Precious’ over the past year and I have to say that Monique’s portrayal of Precious’ monstrous mother is one that even moves me to chills, which says a lot given my professional background.

This film shines much needed light on what far too many young women experience as part of their ‘coming of age’ — the eerie timing with JC Duggard’s escape from unspeakable terror not withstanding.

Ask a Woman Who Knows, this is one to watch.

Take a Fresh Look at Pittsburgh, PA

Pittsburgh: Football, Steel … and botanicals?

September 10, 2009. The Black Eye Peas and Tim McGraw gave a free concert in Point State Park to kick off a new season of football in what may very well be the most beloved city-of-a-shrine to the game in the US.

Friend/Pittsburgh Native Michael Bubert (in Toronto)

But then again, when is it NOT football season in the land of the world-champion Pittsburgh Steelers?

Here on my blog, I can admit the truth: even after years of cheerleading in High School and then following the sport well into adulthood, I still do not understand the rules of this game. But I DO revel in the excitement it creates in its fans. Be it a Steeler, a Giant or a Cowboy, these folks are serious about their pigskin — and why not? Football’s a great contact sport, one that lets us get out our aggression  and still be able to walk off the field with a shake of the hand or pat on the back.

Pittsburgh is one big metal-coated homage to the Steelers and indeed the team’s namesake, Steel.  Purple and Gold ablaze everywhere. But Pittsburgh — land of Heinz and Warhol — is also a lovely town within the beautiful state of Pennsylvania. Lush landscapes and beautiful botanicals abound in every nook and cranny. Pittsburgh is rich with diversity, pride and warmth that make you want to learn more about its colorful history. It’s also within an hour’s drive of Ohio and West Virginia, and two of Lake Erie.

I must admit that I’ve visited Pittsburgh on a number of prior occasions but I usually tended to just relax around my friend’s home, enjoying the benefits of his good cooking and good company. But, I never experienced the town until last weekend.

And now there’s so much more I want to know…

You can see more of our Pittsburgh shots for this particular visit on Flickr in the Pittsburgh set/